shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
