Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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