Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
