So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
