Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize