Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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