Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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