I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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