My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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