Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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