Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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