dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
