look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
