I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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