Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
