Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
