used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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