found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
