she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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