A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just found a bag of teeth...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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