He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
