I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
