...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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