Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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