i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
