The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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