mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
