she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
