Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
