Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
