Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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