Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
