The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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