What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
