So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
