So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
