Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
