Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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