he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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