Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
