I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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