Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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