So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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