Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
