Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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