P.S. I can't hear my feet
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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