literally had 100 drinks last night.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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