I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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