Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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