i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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