i was born a porn star she said
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
