have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
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Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
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We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize