you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
