I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
