you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
