I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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