Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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