WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So much Jack, so little girl.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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