I want to have your abortion
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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