Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sext me about skeletons
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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